[audioplayer file=”https://admin.rattle.com/audio/BeckBurnee.mp3″]
Zeina Hashem Beck
YA’ABURNEE
(Arabic): literally “you bury me,” a term of endearment expressing the desire to die before a loved one, rather than live without them
when my daughter, proud,
carries her milk tooth
in a plastic bag
the graffiti in my head reads
IN THIS BAG, MY SON
when she asks
how many suns
so the world could shine
MORE THAN 500
DEAD
when she asks how many
skies
THOUSANDS
OF HOUSES
when she brings me
flowers she has picked
their heads floating
in a bowl
RUN!
(sprayed in vibrant colors)
when she points
to an image of Mary
says, This is the Mona Lisa
MOSUL
when she swings
from an olive tree
LAND
when she says she likes
her grandmother’s soup best
in red
HUNGER
when she tells me ya’aburnee
because she thinks it’s the best
love term one could ever use
(I say it to her all the time)
my mind turns
BLANK
I shout
No, never,
GOD
forbid
when she asks what ya’aburnee
means, asks again, insists
I explain
YA’ABURNEE
means parents
grow old and die before
their children do
when she says,
IT’S THE SADDEST DAY
when you don’t sleep next to me
I know she means
STAY
means
LOSS
means
HOME
—Poets Respond
July 27, 2014
[download audio]
__________
Zeina Hashem Beck: “The morning I read about the shelling of Shujaiya, I carried the knowledge and images with me all day, and they haunted me, even when I was playing with my daughters. Then came the news about ISIS forcing Christian families out of Mosul. That day my daughter told me ‘ya’aburnee,’ and I felt terrified. Ya’aburnee is a very common term we Arab parents tell our children, and it translates as, ‘May you bury me.’ The implication is, ‘May I die before you do (because I love you so much).’ The poem followed from all this. This is for the parents who had to bury children, and for those who are fighting against the burial of identity.” (website)
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