I watched in confused amazement as the
inmate carefully slipped a sock over his phone
like a giant cotton condom
before placing the bone phone up to his ear.
My first thought was he was
merely using protection
before some steamy phone sex
with his baby mama.
But then my awareness widened
and I observed multiple guys
talking into the heels of their
gym socks.
Then I realized they were trying to
protect themselves
from germs.
Since germs can’t jump
and I don’t lick my phone
I chose not to use a sock.
Which is probably for the best
since most of my socks have holes in ’em.