10 Things I Learned from Cinching Up a Drag Queen

1.
A drag show dressing room
smells like Urban Decay
and two-buck ’80s hair shellac.
2.
Queens live under layers.
Every surface a swap meet
of things that hide other things.
3.
Pee before you tuck.
Tuck before you cinch.
Go to the bathroom in pairs.
4.
Fake nails will fight you.
No matter how early you are,
you won’t start on time.
5.
There’s no such thing
as a dress rehearsal. Do it
on the night or not at all.
6.
Photos must be high-
angle with flash.
Facetune is not optional.
7.
Whole queens bewitch
audiences. Half a queen
scars Taco Bell workers.
8.
Your fuckups are yours.
Smile, honey. Even
if you dance out of your tits.
9.
Do not touch
the queens. Their paint
is always wet.
10.
Taking off makeup
is just as hard
as putting it on.
0
    Your Cart
    Your cart is emptyReturn to Shop
    Scroll to Top