Pull one of the cords.
Is it off? Pull the cord again.
Is it off? Pull the other cord.
Pull both cords like you’re milking a really tall cow in the wind.
Is it off? Pull the cord twice.
No, the other cord.
Is it slowing down or speeding up?
Wait. Stay calm. Look for signs.
It’s slowing down!
Is it slowing down or turning off?
Call a psychic.